Some years ago I led a group from my congregation in Illinois on a two week "study tour" through Guatemala and Nicaragua. There were a dozen of us; our goal was to find a setting to which we might return with work groups from our church. Midway through the trip, we visited the small mountain village of Santa Apolonia in the Chimaltenango province of Guatemala. The setting was beautiful, and the orphanage we toured there seemed ideal.
As the nun in charge showed them around
... various members of the group approached me privately, each one saying in their own way -- "I think we've found what we're looking for!" But then one of our number excused herself to use the restroom. She came back looking ashen. I saw her whisper to another of our group, and that person stepped away to the bathroom. Then another went. They all came back aghast. "Is there a problem?" I asked one of the returnees quietly. "Is everything all right?""Well," he said, "they do have running water and even flush toilets, and they are clean, but there are no toilet seats anywhere." From the look on his face, I could see that that was indeed a problem.
We had come so far, and seemed so close to finding what we sought, that I just couldn't let it go unmentioned.
And so he mentions it to Sister.
"... we're impressed by what you've been able to do here. It's really wonderful. But there's just one thing I need to ask you about. I'm sure there's a simple explanation for it. Can you tell me why there are no toilet seats in any of the bathrooms you've got here? Are they just all on order?""Toilet seats?" she said, surprised and slightly amused. "Toilet seats? No, there are no toilet seats on order. Look around you," she said. "We have one hundred and fifty little mouths to feed each day, and to house, and to clothe, and to educate. We work everyday on those things, and by God's grace we've been able to do it. In the broader scheme of things, I think you'll agree that toilet seats are not really a very high priority." Then she fixed her eyes on me and said, not unkindly -- "Toilet seats are a middle class problem!"
His reaction?
"A middle class problem ..." She might just as well have said, "Snap out it Reverend!"
My reaction more likely would have been "I knew there something I didn't miss about nuns."
From what I've seen, we mission tourists' two hardest adjustments are to bathrooms and breakfast. The orphanage now has toilet seats. Many in our group tend to make our own light breakfast. The nun now in charge doesn't point out our "middle class problems", not in person nor on the orphanage email nor via her cell phone. We have to bring in lay Guatemalan human rights types to chastise the bourgeoisie while we sip our Cokes.
As for the sermon title, not having a toilet seat might just snap you out of it, especially if you forget there isn't one at, say, 3 a.m.. Now that the orphanage has them, no one has suggested leaving them up in solidarity with those who lack them.
Update: We returned to the orphanage in 2006 and I took this photo.
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